Book III. of Jesus Christ. 2.49

thee, to rejoice, not in my felf, or any other, buc in Thee alone ,• for Thou only art my Hope and Crown, my Joy and Glory. All! have is received ac thy boun- tiful Hand , bountiful to a moft unworthy Creature, who neither could procure , nor deferve the lead of all thy Mercies : And thou, by giving and compleat- ing, haft not loft thy Property and Right in all, which by thy means I enjoy or do. For what am I^ alas ! but a weak helplefs Wretch ^ acquainted with Mife- ry from my very Cradle, and wafted with Trouble and Vexation • my Face grown old with Tears, and my Heart perplexed and broken with Doubts, and Sor- rows, and vehement Paffions. I beg and long moft earneftly for the Bleffing of Peace, that Peace and in- ward Confolation, which thy Children feed and feaft upon. If thou fhalt fill my Soul with this , it will overflow with Joy and Praife, and continually breathe out holy Hymns to the Honour of thy Name. But if thou turn away thy Face, as fometimes thou feeftfit to do , I find my felf unable to run in the Way of thy Commandments ,• and, proftrating my felf in the An- guifti of my Soul, I beat my Breaft , and wring my Hands, for the lofs of chat Light and Comfort , that Strength and Protection, which I enjoyed, while under the Shadow of thy Wings, and defended from the Af- faults of Sorrow and Adverfity.
Righteous Father, fthen fay I) the time is come when thou art pleafed to try me , but even at this time, and at all others, praifed be thy Name. Dear- eft Father, it is very meet , that now thou caH'ft me to it, I fliould fufFer in obedience to thy Will. Moft honoured Father, this is thy Hour, even thatin:;ior- tantHour, which thou from all Eternity hal: ci divin- ed to be the Seafon, of my outward OpprefiK Difcomfort becoming the Inftrument of endleis Life and Joy to me : But, though this Heavinefs may en- dure for a Night , yet Light and Glory will return
R 3 in
ISO lanf tfte Hmttatton Bookiii.
in the Morning. This^ holy Father, is thy own Ap- poinrnient, and what thou willcft thou never willeft in vain. For even this Suffering in the prefent Life is a Mark of thy Favour and Friendfhip j theReturns^ the Initruments, the Manner, the Continuance of my Afflictions, are all of thy permitting, for nothing is or can be done, without thy Providence and Diredion, without fome wife and excellent Defign. Even I my .^ . , felf am fenfibie, bow good it is for me to,
■ '^ * hci've hec?i iiiji'itU'rly that I might learn thy
Statutes^ and utterly diicard ail Pride and Carnal Con- fidences. The Shame and Self-reproach 1 laboured un- der, hath taught me to expcd Relief from God, and not from Man. And nil my AtHic^ions put rne upon cojitemplating the unfearchal^lc Depths of thy Provi- dence, which, with a wonderful Temper of Jultice and Equity, layeth thefe Burthens upon Bad and Good, without any Nice or Difcriminating Marks of Love or Hatred in this prefent World.
I will therefore render moft unfeigned Thankfgi- ving to my God, for that in^ marvellous Kindnefs he hath not fpared the Rod when ic was convenient for me: I acknovvledge his Mercy, even in the Pains and Croffes, and Sorrows Lfiave endured, whether of Mind, or Body^ or Bikte -and yet much more, for thofe Jlefrefliments and Remedies, which thou alone hafl afforded me. For vain is all the Help of Man, but thou art the true, the powerful Phyfician of Souls, ..'-■ thou v^Guhdefi-and heakft ^ thou Jjnngeft down Dcut. xxxii. :^^ ,j^^ g^^^^ of Hell, and raifeft ti.p again,. Thy
Chaftifement fliall teach me Wifdom ; thou (halt beat me whh tlib Rod, and I {hull not die. Behold me, ]Lord, molt willingly fubmitting to thy Difcipline ; 0 ftrike, and fpare not, fo thou bend my fiubborn Hearty and bring down my high 'Spii;ie3: and make' me trae (Stable and obedient. '^ I, 'Lord, .and Mine are aj thy difpofa^/ put forth thy Hand and couch themes 1ti^o|ti
plea-