I. How I have wandered from the subject ! It is

essential, I think, to begin the practice of prayer with
a firm resolution of persevering in it. The reasons for
this are so many that it would take too long to enumerate
them — besides, they are explained in a number of books.
I will content myself, then, with mentioning two or three.
Firstly, when we pay this attention (slight in itself) of our
thoughts — an attention which is not fruitless, but which
brings us a rich reward — when we render this homage
to God, Who has bestowed so much on us and Who
continues to shower benefits upon us, it would be wrong
not to give it Him entirely ; not as one who gives a
thing, meaning to take it back again. This cannot be
called “giving”: in fact, any one who has received
a present, always feels more or less annoyed at its being
reclaimed by the donor, especially when he had come
to look upon it as his own property. If this occurs
between friends, and the .giver is indebted for many
gratuitous favours to the recipient, the latter may justly

1 Valladolid edition, ch. xxv. ; Escorial, ch. xxxix.

153

CHAP. XXIII.] PERSEVERANCE.

consider that meanness and want of affection are shown
if nothing has been left him as a gage of love. Where
can a wife be found, who after receiving a number of
valuable jewels from her husband, will not give him
in return even a ring, not so much for its value (for
all that she possesses is his), but as a pledge that she
will be faithful to him until death ? Does God merit
less than this, that we should mock Him by first giving
Him this trifle and then taking it away ? Since we
have resolved to devote to Him this short space of time
(which we should otherwise bestow on our friends, who
would not thank us for it) let us yield it Him with
thoughts that are free, and withdrawn from all else.
Let us fully resolve never to take it back, whatever
crosses it may bring us, and in spite of all aridities.^

2. We must no longer reckon this time as our own :
we should feel that God will have the right to call us
to account for it unless we render it entirely to Him.
When I say entirely I do not mean that we should
be taking it back if we missed it for a day or two on ac-
count of lawful duties ® or illness, but that you should
keep your resolution unchanged. God is not exacting :
He does not scrutinise details, and if you seek to please
Him, you are offering Him a gift. The other way of
acting suits spirits who are so miserly that they
have not the heart to give, but will only lend. Still,

2 Castle, M. ii. ch. i. 15. ^ Castle, M. ii. ch. i. 18.

154 the way of perfection. [chap. XXIII.

even then, they do something : this Lord of ours takes
any payment and accommodates Himself to our humours.
He is liberal, not exacting about His dues : however
heavy our debts may be. He easily remits them in order
to win us. He watches us so closely that you need
never fear He will leave you unrewarded, if you but
raise your eyes to heaven with the thought of Him.

3. A second reason why our resolution should be firm
is that this lessens the devil’s power of tempting us.
He is very frightened of determined souls, knowing by
experience how they injure him, and that, by trying to
do them mischief, he only profits them and others, and
damages himself. Still, we must not grow careless, or
trust to this, for we have to deal with traitors who,
though too cowardly to attack the wary, yet inflict
great harm on the negligent. If they find that a soul
is fickle, irresolute, and wanting in perseverance in the
right path, they will never leave it alone day or night,
and will suggest to it endless fears and difficulties.
Experience has convinced me of this, and I have been
able to explain it to you : most people do not realise
its gravity. A third and very weighty reason is that
a resolute soul fights more courageously, knowing that,
come what may, it must never retreat. It is like a
soldier in the midst of the fray, who knows that if he is
vanquished he must expect no quarter, but that, if he
does not fall during the battle, he will be killed after-

CHAP. XXIII.] REWARDS. I55

wards. I am sure that he must fight the more doggedly
and intend to sell his life the more dearly for this, as
the term goes. Besides, he would care less for his
wounds, realising the price of victory and that his life
depended upon gaining it.

4. We ought to feel no doubt that, unless we allow
ourselves to be defeated, we are sure to succeed. This
is certain, for, however insignificant our conquest may
be, we shall come off with great gains. Never fear that
our Lord will allow us to die of thirst after inviting us
to drink of this fountain. I have said it before, and I
shall often repeat it : for people who have not learnt
our Lord’s goodness by experience, but only know of
it by faith, are often discouraged. It is a great grace
to have proved for oneself what friendship and caresses
He bestows on those who walk by the way of prayer,
and how, as it were. He defrays all the costs. It does
not surprise me that those who have never practised it
should want the security of receiving some interest.
You know that we receive a hundredfold, even in this
life, * and that our Lord said, ‘ ‘ Ask and ye shall receive.” ®
His Majesty has promised this in several places in the
Gospels : if you do not believe Him, sisters, it would

^ St. Matt. xix. 29 : “ Omnis qui reliquerit domum . . . propter
nomen meum, centuplum accipiet, et vitam aeternam pcssidebit.”

5 St. Luke xi. 9. St. Matt. vii. 7 : “ Et ego dico vobis : Petite
et dabitur vobis ; quaerite et invenietis ; pulsate et aperietur
vobis.” Castle, M. iv. ch. i. ii. Life, ch. xix. 8.

156 THE WAY OF PERFECTION. [CHAP. XXIV.

be of little use for me to wear myself out with telling
you about it. However, I can assure any one who still
feels doubtful, that she has little to lose by beginning
the practice and that prayer has the advantage of gaining
for us more than we ask, or can even desire. This is in-
contestable : I know it from experience. If you find it is
false, never believe a single word I have ever said to you.
Those who, by the mercy of God, have learnt it for them-
selves can bear witness to what I affirm. It is well to have
said this for the sake of those who will come after me.