I. Let us now speak of other small matters which are

very important, insignificant as they may appear. All
this seems an enormous work, as indeed it is, being a
warfare carried on against ourselves ; yet, when once
we begin it, God so works in our souls, bestowing on
them numerous graces, that all we can do in this life
seems but a ’trifle. We nuns have done the greater
part of our task ; we have given up our liberty for the
love of God, and placed it in the power of another.
We endure so much in our labours,* fasts,* silence,^

^ Valladolid edition, ch. xiii. ; Escorial, ch. xviii.

2 Rule, 13. Const. 23. Visit, ii.

® Rule, 10. Const, ii. ^ Rule, 14. Const. 5.

74

THE WAY OF PERFECTION. [CHAP. XII.

enclosure,® attendance at choir,® that, however strongly
we may wish for our ease, we can rarely enjoy it,’ and
perhaps, among the many convents I have visited, I
may be the only nun who tries to obtain it ! Why
then do we draw back from interior mortification,
which is the mainspring of all the rest, by which they
become more meritorious and perfect, and are finally
performed with sweetness and peace ?

2. This interior mortification, as I said, is acquired
little by little, through never following our own wills or
liking, even in the most trifling matters, until we have
subdued the body to the spirit. I repeat, that this
is entirely, or at least, mainly accomplished by re-
nouncing all care for ourselves and our own pleasure.
If we have really begun to serve our Lord, the least we
can offer Him is our life, after having yielded our will
to Him. What is there to fear in this ? Whoever is a
true religious, or is genuinely devoted to prayer and
aspires to enjoy divine consolations, should be convinced
that she must not recoil from wishing either to die,®

® Const. 13. Found, ch. xxxi, 42. Life, ch. vii. 5.

® Rule, 6. Const. 1-6.

’ Life, ch. xiii. 30.

® “ Either to die or to suffer,” the genuine form of St. Teresa’s
motto, which occurs also in an undated letter to a Carmelite
nun {cirpa 1578). The usual wording, “To suffer or to die,”
is nowhere to be found in the Saint’s writings. Life, ch. xl. 27.

3 sqq.

CHAP. XII.] MARTYRDOM. 75

or to suffer martyrdom for His sake.® Do you not
know, sisters, that the life of a good religious, and of
one who wishes to be among the most intimate friends
of God, is one long martyrdom ? Long,” because,
compared to decapitation, which lasts but an instant,
it may be termed long ; but a whole life-time is short,
and, sometimes, very short indeed. How do we know
but that ours may not be so short as to end in an hour,
or even in a moment, after we have determined to give
ourselves entirely to God ? It is quite possible, for
we cannot depend on anything that passes away, much
less on life, on which we must not reckon for a single
day. Who, thinking each hour to be his last, would
not speild it in labour ?

3. Trust me, this is the safest view to take, therefore
we must learn to cross our wills in everything ; although
we may not succeed at once, yet little by little, by the
help of prayer, as I said, without knowing how, we
shall reach the sumrnit. But how rigorous it sounds
to say that we must never please ourselves, unless we
are told of the consolation this self-denial brings with

* One of the nuns asked our holy Mother how to become a
saint. She answered : “ Daughter, we are soon going to make a
foundation ; then you will learn the way.” They went, and the
sister met with a great many trials : she told them to the Saint,
who replied : ” Daughter, did you not ask me to teach you

how to become a saint ? This is the way ” — meaning that
sanctity lay in suffering for God. {Fuente, vol. vi. 318, nn. 20, 21.
Deposition of Isabel of Jesus.)

76

THE WAY OF PERFECTION. [CHAP. XII.

it, and of the security it obtains during this life ! But,
as you all practise it here, the principal part is already
done : each one is urging her sisters on, and strives to
excel the rest. Be most watchful over your secret
feelings, especially such as concern precedence.^" God
deliver us, for the sake of His Passion, from saying,
or from deliberately thinking, “ I am her senior in the
Order ” : “I am older than she ” : ‘'I have done more
work ” : “ She is better treated than I am.”

4. When such thoughts arise in your minds, you
must suppress them at once : if you dwell upon them
or give them utterance, they will prove contagious,
and will give rise to great evils in a religious house.
Should your Prioress allow anything of this kind, how-
ever slight it may be, you must believe that God has
permitted her to hold that office in punishment for
your sins, and that it is the beginning of your ruin.
Cry to Him for aid, and let all your prayers be directed
to obtain a remedy, for you are in danger. A religious,
or a person who practises prayer with the genuine resolu-
tion of obtaining the graces and joys God grants to souls,
is bound to this detachment from everything. “

5. You may think I insist too much on this, and that

Life, ch. xxi. 12; ch. xxvii. 16. Rel. i. 28. Castle, M. -v.
ch. iii. 10-12. Concep. ch. ii. 15.

Escorial edition, ch. xix. That care for honour and for the
wisdom of this world must be avoided, in order to arrive at true
wisdom.

CHAP. XII.] FORSAKING ALL THINGS. 77

I treat it with excessive severity, as God bestows His
consolations on souls wanting in this detachment.
Doubtless this is the case, for by His infinite wisdom
He knows they can be thus drawn to forsake all things
for His sake. By “ forsaking all things ” I do not
necessarily mean entering religion, for there may be
obstacles preventing this, and in every state perfect
souls may be detached and humble ; however, this is
more difficult whilst living in the world, for our sur-
roundings influence us strongly. But rest assured of
this — people may desire honours or possessions in
monasteries as well as outside them (yet the sin is greater
as the temptation is less),^® but such souls, although
they may have spent years in prayer, or rather in specu-
lations (for perfect prayer eventually destroys these
vices), will never make great progress nor enjoy the
real fruit of prayer.

6. Ascertain, sisters, whether you care for these
trifles, for you came here that you might spurn them.
They give you no increase of honour, and you miss
the advantages which would have brought you more
honour in the end ; so discredit and loss are here com-
bined. Let each one examine whether she is truly
humble, and she will learn what progress she has made.

St. Matt. xix. 27. St. Mark x. 28. St. Luke xviii. 28 :
“ Reliquimus omnia, et secuti sumus Te.”

12 Concep. ch. ii. 30, 32, 33. Way of Perf. ch. xxxvi, 2-7.

78 THE WAY OF PERFECTION. [CHAP. XII.

I do not think the devil would dare to tempt a lowly
heart with even the suggestions of a wish for precedence,
for he is sagacious enough to fear the wound he would
receive.

Such a temptation of the evil one can only strengthen
and increase this virtue in a truly humble heart, which
will reflect upon its former life, the little service it has
rendered to our Lord, compared with what it owed
Him, and the wonders He performed in abasing Himself
to give us an example of lowliness : it will recall its sins,
and remember that it has deserved hell in return for them.
These reflections so benefit the mind that Satan dares
not return next day, for fear of getting a broken head.

7. Take this advice from me, and do not forget it —
that not only should you gain the victory within your
own heart (where it would be very wrong not to benefit
by the temptation), but, even outwardly, you ought to
let your sisters be the gainers by its means, if you would
be avenged on the devil and escape from the repetition
of such thoughts. As soon as they arise, tell the Prioress
of them, and ask her to give you some very mean em-
ployment, or else of your own accord do any sort of
work of the kind. Meanwhile, study how to subdue
your will in the things you are most averse to (our Lord
will show you many ways of doing this) : and perform
some public penances such as are usual in the house.

Const. 25.

CHAP. XII.] POINTS OF HONOUR. 79

Thus the temptation will quickly vanish. God deliver
us from people who try to serve Him, yet who care
for their honour or fear disgrace. What we gain by
this only does us harm : as I said, honour is lost by
those who seek it ; above all, by religious, especially
in the matter of rank, for no poison in the world is so
fatal to perfection.

8. You may say that this is a trifling fault, and only
human nature ; that it is of no importance. Do not hold
it lightly ; it spreads in monasteries as quickly as foam
gathers on the sea ; nothing can be called trifling in so
great a danger as these points of honour and sensitiveness
about affronts. Would you like to know the chief reason
— not to speak of other causes ? Some slight annoyance,
hardly worth mentioning, is offered you, and the devil
instigates one of your sisters to consider it a grave
insult : she even thinks it a charity to tell you of it
and to ask you how you could bear such an injury :
she says she begs God to grant you patience ; she
should offer it up to Him, for a saint could bear no
more.

9. In short, the evil one makes mischief through
another’s tongue : so that although you are resolved to
suffer meekly, you are tempted to vainglory on account
of what you have not borne as well as you ought to
have done. Human nature is so weak, that though
we overcome the temptation by telling ourselves there

8o THE WAY OE PERFECTION. [CHAP. Xlll.

is no cause for annoyance, yet we think we have done
something praiseworthy and feel we have been injured —
how much more when others agree with us ? This makes
the trouble worse ; we hold that we are in the right ; our
souls lose an occasion of gaining merit, and are left weaker
than before, while a door is opened to Satan by which
he can return another time to tempt us more severely.
It may even happen that, when you are willing to bear an
injury, some one may come and ask you : “ Are you to
be treated like a dog ? surely every one ought to have
some self-respect ! ” Oh, for the love of God, sisters,
never show such indiscreet sympathy with one another
respecting mere fancied injuries, which is like that shown
to holy Job by his wife and friends.