I. To be continually bewailing our slight ailments

appears to me, sisters, to be a very great imperfection.
Say nothing about them if you can help it. When the
illness is severe, it is self-evident — this is quite another
sort of complaining, which at once makes itself known.
Remember, you are few in number, and if any of you
has this habit, she will weary all the rest, if love and
charity reign among you. If the indisposition is real,
speak about it and take the necessary remedies ^ : if
you have lost self-love, you will so dislike indulgence
that there will be no fear of your wanting more than
necessary, nor of your complaining without good cause.
When there is a genuine reason you do right in men-
tioning it : this is far better than taking anything extra
without leave and it would be very wrong of your sisters
not to pity you. I am confident that, wherever prayer
and charity prevail, in however small a degree, the

^ Valladolid edition, ch. xii. ; Escorial, ch. xvii.

2 Const. 22. Visit. 10.

70 THE WAY OF PERFECTION. [CHAP. XI.

nuns will notice each other’s wants, and that the needful
remedies and care will never be wanting.® As for the
little indispositions women may suffer from — do not
think of complaining of them : very often they are only
fancies suggested by the devil, which come and* go,
and if you do not get rid of the habit of speaking about
them (except to God), there will never be an end to
them.'*

2. I insist on this because I think it very important
for us, and one of the things which greatly tend to
relax discipline in monasteries. The body possesses this
defect — the more you give it, the more it requires.
It is wonderful how fond it is of comfort, and what
pretexts it will offer to obtain it, however little needed ;
it deceives the unfortunate soul, and prevents it making
progress. Remember how many poor people are ill
and have no one to complain to — poverty and ease do
not go together. Think, too, what a number of married
women there are, many of them, as I know, of good
position in life, who, lest they should annoy their
husbands, dare not speak of the serious maladies and

* The first thing that St. Teresa did on arriving at a convent
was to visit the Blessed Sacrament. Then, if any of the nuns
were ill, she went at once to see them, performing many deeds
of charity on their behalf. She charged the Prioresses to take
great care of the invalids when it was requisite. {Fuente, vol.
vi. 308, n. 2.) Deposition of Catherine of the Holy Angels.

* Concep. ch. ii. 17-20,

CHAP. XI.]

SUFFERINGS.

71

poignant trials from which they are suffering. Sinner
as I am, no, we did not come here to be better treated
than they are ! How free you are from the great troubles
of the world ; learn, then, to suffer some little thing
for the love of God, without every one knowing it. When
a woman has made .an unhappy marriage, she does not
say so, nor lament about it, for fear her husband should
know : she is very wretched, but confides in no one :
shall not we, then, keep secret between God and our-
selves some of the ills He sends us for our sins ? all
the more, because speaking of it does not lighten our
load.

3. What I have said does not apply to serious illness,
attended with high fever, although even then, I beg
of you to be reasonable and patient ® ; but I allude to
slight ailments with which we can go about without
troubling other people concerning them. But what
will happen if this is read by any one outside the con-
vent ? What will all the nuns say of me ? How
willingly I would bear this, if I could help any one to
improve ! If one nun constantly complains, at last
her sisters will not believe any one else who says she
is really ill, even though the doctor may confirm her
words. However, as I am only speaking to my daughters
they will forgive me for what I have written. Let us
remember our holy Fathers, the ancient hermits, whose

® Rel. iii. 2.

72

THE WAY OF PERFECTION.

[chap. XI.

lives we profess to imitate : what sufferings they bore,
what solitude, what cold and hunger, what scorching
sunshine and heat, with no one to complain to but
God ! do you think they were made of iron ? ® They
were flesh and blood like ourselves. Believe me,
daughters, when once we begin to subdue our wretched
bodies, they do not trouble us so much. It is enough
for you to see to what is needful. Do not desire any-
thing extra, unless it is absolutely necessary.

4. Unless we resolve, once for all, to resign ourselves
to death and ill-health, we shall never do anything.
Endeavour to lose all fear of them, and to leave every-
thing in God’s hands, come what may. What does it
matter if we die ? How many times have not our bodies
mocked us ? Let us mock them for once. Trust me,
this resolution is more important than can be realised,
for by keeping faithfully to it, and practising it little
by little, until it becomes a habit, with the grace of
God we shall vanquish the flesh, and you will experience
the truth of what I say. Victory over such an enemy
goes far to carry us through the battle of life. May
God grant it to us, since He has the power, and we need
His grace in all things : may He bring it to pass for

® Imitation, bk. i. ch. xviii. 2. St. Teresa knew the Imitation
of Christ under the title of Contemptus Mundi, translated by Luis
de Granada, and printed at Seville in 1536, and again at Lisbon
1 544 and Alcala 1 548. There exists an earlier Spanish translation
printed in 1490,

CHAP. XII.] SELF-ABNEGATION. 73

His own sake. I am certain that only those who rejoice
in this conquest can estimate its value, which is so
great that I believe no one will regret any sufferings
that have been endured in order to gain such peace and
self-command.