I. Oh, if we religious only understood the harm it

does us to see much of our relations, how we should
® Life, ch. ii. 6 ; ch. vii. lo, I2 ; ch. xxiv. 8. Rel. i, 6 ;

ibid. X.

^ Valladolid edition, ch. x. ; Escorial, ch. xiv.

6o

THE WAY OF PERFECTION.

[chap. IX.

shun them ! I cannot see what pleasure it can give us,
for, setting aside the mischief done by it to our spiritual
life, what comfort or solace can it obtain for us ? We
cannot share their amusements, nor would this be lawful
for us ; but we grieve over their unhappiness, which
often afflicts us more than it does them. I assure you
that the soul and poverty of spirit pay dearly for any
comfort that the body may gain. You are free from
this evil here, for as everything is in common, and no
one may receive any private gift, all alms being given
do the community in general,^ there is no obligation to
repay your kindred for what they bestow, and, as you
know, our Lord provides for us all together.

2. It astonishes me to see what harm the society of
our kindred does us. It is incredible, save to those
who have witnessed it for themselves ; yet how this
perfection seems forgotten by religious of the present
day ! at least by the greater number of them, although
all the saints remembered it, and wrote a great deal
about it. I cannot tell what it is that we leave in this
world, we who say we leave all for God, if we do not
forgo the chief thing of all — the society of our relatives.
Things have come to such a pass, that it is considered
a defect in a religious not to be fond of their kindred,
and to see a great deal of them. They will tell you
so, and allege their reasons for it. In this house, my
2 Const. lo. On gifts, 31.

CHAP. IX.] DETACHMENT FROM RELATIVES. 6l

daughters, we must pray a good deal for our relatives,
after having interceded for the Church, as I told you :
this is only right ; but having done this, we must blot
them out of our memory as far as possible, because it
is natural to us to fix our affection on them in preference
to others. My relations were extremely fond of me,
people say, and I loved them so much that I would not
allow them to forget me. Yet I have learnt from ex-
perience, both in my own case and that of others, that
(with the exception of parents, who only in very rare
cases refuse succour to their children), when I have been
in need, my own kith and kin have helped me least of
all, and it has been the servants of God who have come
to my aid. It is right, however, when our father and
mother require comfort from us, that we should not hold
ourselves aloof from them ; this is consistent with perfect
detachment. The same applies to our brothers and
sisters.

3. Believe me, sisters, if you serve God as you ought,
you will find no better kindred than those servants of
His whom He will send you. I am convinced of the
truth of this, and if you do what you know to be right
(for to take any other course would be to fail in your
duty to your true Friend and Spouse), you may be sure
that in a very short time you will gain this liberty of
spirit. Those who love you for His sake alone, who
are more to be relied on than all your relatives, will

62 THE WAY OF PERFECTION. [CHAP. IX.

never desert you, and you will find fathers and brothers
where you never looked for them. For these latter
help us because they wait for their reward from God,
while the former, as they expect repayment from us,
when they see our poverty and helplessness, soon weary
of assisting us. Though this does not always happen,
yet it is the rule in this life ; in short, it is the way of
the world ! if any one tells you it is a virtue to act in
a contrary manner, do not believe him. It would take
me a long time to tell you all the harm that results
from such a course ; as others who know better than I
do, have written on the subject, this will suffice. If,
in spite of all my imperfections, I understand this so
well, how far better more spiritual persons must realise
it ! As I said, much has been written elsewhere on
this matter, many books hardly treat of anything else.
There is no doubt that the saints do right in advising
us to fly from the world. Believe what I said to you —
the thing that clings closest to us, and is most difficult
to shake off, is the love of our kindred.

4. Those do right, therefore, who quit their country
if it helps this detachment, which I find consists not
so much in bodily separation as in the spirit’s resolutely
embracing the good Jesus, our Lord, and forgetting
all else, since it possesses all things in Him. But it is
a great help to keep apart from our relations until we
are convinced of this truth. Later on, perhaps, it may

CHAP. X.j DETACHMENT FROM SELF-WILL. 63

be God’s will that we should be in their society ; we
may then find our cross where we used to find our joy.