M. vii. ch. iv. 21. Found, ch. i. 6, 7.

^ Life, ch. xxxiii. 15 ; ch. xxxv. 2-7.
4
CHAP. I.] FOUNDATION OF ST. JOSEPH’S. 5
and how this wretched sect was increasing.^ It grieved me bitterly, and as if I could have done anything, or had been of any consequence, I cried to God and begged Him to cure this terrible evil. I felt that I would have laid down a thousand lives to save one of the many souls perishing there. Yet, as I am but a woman, feeble and faulty, it was impossible for me to serve God in the way I wished — indeed, all I cared for then, as I do now, was that, as the enemies of God are so many and His friends so few, these latter might at least be good ones. Therefore I determined to do what little was in my power, which was to follow the Evangelical counsels as perfectly as I could, and to see that the few nuns here should do the same.® Trusting in the great mercy of God, which never fails those who resolve to leave all things for His sake, I hoped that, as my sisters here are all that I ever wished them to be, their virtues would be strong enough to resist the influence of my defects, and that I might be able to bring some comfort to our Lord. Thus, being all of us employed in interceding for the
^ Life, ch. xxxii. 9. Rel. ii. 14. Way of Perf. ch. xxxv. 3. Luis de Leon relates that the mere mention of the ravages committed by the heretics on the monasteries of Germany and England so wounded St. Teresa’s heart as to cause her constant pain. The first and chief reason for her founding the houses of Discalced Carmelites was to repair, to some extent, these wrongs done by the heretics. {Puente, vol. vi. 130, n. 19.)
® Life, ch, xxxv. 13 ; ch. xxxvi. 26 ; ch. xxxix. 14. Found. ch. i. 1-4. Castle, M. v. ch. iv. 5.
6 THE WAY OF PERFECTION. [CHAP. I.
champions of the Church, and the preachers and theolo- gians who defend her, we might, to our utmost, aid this Lord of mine. Who is attacked with such cruelty by those on whom He has conferred great benefits, that it seems as though they would fasten Him to the Cross again, leaving Him no place to lay His Head.
3. O my Redeemer ! How it wearies my heart® to think of this ! To what a state have Christians come ! Must those who owe Thee most, always treat Thee worst ? — those souls to whom Thou hast shown the greatest goodness, whom Thou hast chosen for Thy friends, amongst whom Thou dost dwell, to whom Thou dost give Thyself in Thy sacraments ? Hast Thou not borne torments enough at the hands of the Jews ? Indeed, my Lord, we forfeit nothing in retiring from the world, for if [Christians] show Thee such disloyalty, what could we hope for ? Do we merit better treatment from them ? Have we done more for them than Thou hast done, that they should be friends to us ? How is this ? What do we hope for — we, who by the rhercy of God have escaped this plague-spot ? for these men are already the slaves of the devil. They have earned a bitter scourging from the hands of the fiend and have bought eternal fire with the pleasures he has given them. That must be their fate, though it breaks my heart to see so many
® Psalm cxviii. 53 ; *' Defectio tenuit me, pro peccatoribus
derelinquentibus legem tuam.”
CHAP. I.] FOUNDATION OF ST. JOSEPH’S. 7
souls lose themselves. Would that the evil were not so great : fain would I not see more and more ruined every day.’
4. O my sisters in Christ ! help me to pray to our Lord for this ! This is why we live here together, why the Lord has brought you here ; it must be your work, the object of your longings ; your tears and prayers must beg for this, and not for any worldly matters. I laugh, and yet I grieve, at the intentions recommended to our prayers, — even such matters as to ask His Majesty for success in business matters and lawsuits concerning money, and this from people who I wish would beg God for grace to trample such things under-foot. These people mean well ; therefore, to tell the truth, I pray for them to God, because of their piety in asking for it, although, for my part, I believe that He never listens to such prayers from me.
5. The world is in a fever * ; men wish, as it were, to condemn Christ again, for they suborn a thousand false witnesses against Him : they want to level the Church with the ground — and shall we waste our time in peti-
’ Life, ch. xiii. 14 ; ch. xxxii 9. Castle, M. v. ch. ii. 13 ;