I. I think the good Jesus might well make this prayer

for Himself, for we see, by His speech to His Apostles,
how weary He was of this life. “ With desire have I
desired to eat this Pasch with you.” * As this was to be

^ Valladolid edition, ch. xliv. ; Escorial, continuation of
ch. Ixxii.

2 St. Luke xxii. 15: “ Desiderio desideravi hoc Pascha

manducare vobiscum."

CHAI>. XLII.] DELIVER US FROM EVIL.”

287

the last supper He ever ate, these words prove how
tired He was of living. Yet, nowadays, people of a
hundred years old, far from being sick of existence, want
to live longer ! But then, we do not dwell in such misery,
sufferings, and poverty, as did His Majesty ! What was
His whole life but a continuous death, for His bitter
Passion was always before His eyes ? ® Yet this was the
least of His sorrows compared with witnessing the sins
committed against His Father and the multitude of
souls that are lost. For if this is a cruel torment to a
heart filled with charity,^ what must it have been to the

3 “What must have been the feelings of our Lord Jesus
Christ — and what must His life have been ? for all things were
present before His eyes, and He was the constant witness of the
great offences committed against His Father. I believe without
doubt that this pained Him far more than His sacred Passion.
There He found the end of all His trials, with the consolation of
gaining our salvation through His death, and of proving how
He loved His Father by suffering for Him, which allayed His
agony. . . . Yet I think, the constant sight of the many sins
committed against God, and of the numberless souls on their
way to hell, must have caused Him such anguish, that had He
not been more than man, one day of such torment would have
destroyed not only His life, but many more lives, if they had
been His ” {Castle, M. v. ch. ii. 13).

^ “St. Teresa delighted in reading the lives of the saints,
but nothing so excited her devotion as the history of those who
had converted many souls. Indeed, this moved her far more
than the sufferings of the martyrs. She would cry to God,
imploring Him to listen to her prayers, since prayer was her
only resource, and beg Him to allow her to rescue at least
one soul from among the many victims of the devil ’’ {Ribera,
bk. iv. ch. xi.).

288 The way of pEFFEcTioN. [chap. xliI.

boundless, and supreme charity of our Lord ? Well might
He implore His Father to deliver Him from so many evils
and trials and to place Him in peace in His kingdom, of
which He was the rightful Heir. I think that as ‘ ‘ Amen ’ ’
is used at the end of all prayers, so our Lord means by
it here, that we may be delivered from all evil for ever.

2. It would be hopeless, sisters, to think that while
we are on earth we can be freed from numberless tempta-
tions, imperfections, and even sins, since Holy vScripture
says : “ If we say that we have no sin, we deceive our-
selves.” ® This is the truth. Then, if we flee from
bodily evils and sufferings — and who is without many a
trial of the sort ? — is it not right to ask to be delivered
from the ills of the soul ? Still, we must recognise that
it is impossible for us to be delivered from every corporal
evil or from imperfections and faults in God’s service.
I am not speaking of the saints — they can ” do all things
in Christ,” ® as St. Paul said, but of sinners like myself.
When I see how engulfed I am in my own weakness,
tepidity, want of mortification, and other faults, I feel
the need of asking God for some redress. As for you,
daughters, pray for what you think best : I shall never
be free from these evils in this life, and so I beg to be
delivered from them in eternity. What good do we

5 I St. John i. 8 : “ Si dixerimus quoniam peccatum non
habemus, ipsi nos seducimus.”

® Phil. iv. 13 : “ Omnia possum in Eo qui me confortat."

CHAP. XLII.] PRAYER. 289

possess on earth, where we are destitute of all good,
and absent from our Lord ? Deliver me, O God, from
this deadly nightmare; deliver me from the many labours,
the frequent anguish, the numberless vicissitudes, the
multitude of duties that devolve upon us in this world ;
from the many, many, many things that harass and that
weary me, and that would weary any reader of this book
were I to enumerate them. Life is made unbearable ’
by the loathing I feel at having led so bad a life and at
the sight of its unworthiness even now, considering my
indebtedness.

3. Therefore I beg of God to deliver me for ever from
all evil since I cannot pay the score I owe, but, perhaps,
only plunge deeper into debt each day. O God ! un-
bearable are the uncertainties as to whether I love Thee
or whether my desires are pleasing to Thee ! My Lord
and my God ! deliver me from all evil and vouchsafe to
take me to where all good things are to be found. What
do souls look for here, after Thou hast shown them in
some degree the nothingness of this world, or when they
have learnt it by experience, and have a lively faith in
what the eternal Father is keeping in store for us because
His Son asked Him to bestow it on us and has bidden us
beg it for ourselves ?

’ Castle, M. vi. ch. xi. 9; M. vii. ch. iii. 14. Excl. vi. i ;
xii. 2 ; xiv. i. Poems I. and II. on the words “ I die because
I do not die.”

290 THE WAY OF PERFECTION. [CHAP. XLII.

4. An ardent and constant desire for heaven is a sure
sign in contemplatives that the favours they receive
come from God, and that their contemplation is genuine,
for He is drawing their souls to Him. So let those who
possess it, value it highly. But let nobody suppose that
I ask for heaven for this reason — it is only because my
life has been so wicked that I am afraid of living any
longer — besides, I am tired of bearing so many crosses.
But souls which receive divine favours may well desire
to be where they will no longer taste of them by sips.
Now that they know something of the grandeurs of God,
they long to see them in entirety : they do not wish to
dwell amidst so many obstacles to their enjoyment of
this supreme good, but pine to be where the Sun of
righteousness never sets. All earthly things henceforth
seem dim to them. I cannot understand how they can
live another hour — at all events, no one can ever feel
content to do so who has once begun to delight in God,
and who has partaken of His kingdom here, so as no
longer to do her own will, but that of her King.

5. Oh, how different must be that life, where one no
longer pines for death ! What a contrast in the bent
of our wills to God’s will ! He wills that we should
love the truth, while we prefer falsehood ; He wishes us
to love what is eternal^ — but we follow what is fleeting ;
He would have us care for the noble and sublime — we
only value base and earthly things ; He wills that we

CHAP. XLII.] EARTH AND HEAVEN. 29I

should rest on what is safe, while we seek danger. All
things are vanity, my daughters, save to ask God to
deliver us from these dangers for ever, and to deliver us
from all evil. Although our wish for this may not be
perfect, yet let us force ourselves to make the petition.
What does it matter if we pray for great things — we are
asking it of One Who is all-powerful ? It would be an
insult to ask a great emperor for a farthing. But to
make sure of obtaining our request, let us leave the
choice of the gift to the will of God,® since we have
already yielded our will to Him. May His Name be
for ever blessed, both in heaven and earth, and let His
will be ever done in me ! Amen.®

6. Now you see, my friends, that to make vocal prayer
with perfection is to consider and to realise to Whom
it is offered, who it is that makes it, and what is asked
for. Do not be disheartened if people tell you that it
is wrong to use any but vocal prayer. Read over very
carefully all that I have written and beg God to teach
you anything about the subject that you cannot under-
stand. Nobody can hinder you from vocal prayer nor
force you to say the Pater Noster hurriedly and thought-
lessly. If any one tries to prevent your prayer or advises
you to give it up, do not trust what he says, but look

® Ex cl. xvi.

* Escorial edition, ch. Ixxiii. In which the book is con-
cluded.

292 THE WAY OF PERFECTION. [CHAP. XLII.

Upon him as a false prophet. In these days, you cannot
listen to everybody : if to-day some one tells you that
you have nothing to fear, there is no knowing what he
may say to-morrow. I meant to have explained how
you should say the Ave Maria, but having enlarged my
book so much, I must leave it. To know how to recite
the Pater Noster well, will show you how to say any
other prayer.

7. Now let us finish the journey which I have described.
See, sisters, what trouble our Lord has saved me by
teaching both you and myself “ the way ” I began to
describe to you, by showing me how much we ask for
when we say this evangelical prayer. May He be for
ever praised, for assuredly the idea never entered my
mind that it contained such sublime secrets. As you
have seen, it comprises the whole spiritual life, from the
very beginning until God absorbs the soul into Himself
and gives it to drink freely of the fountain of living
water which I told you was to be found at the end of
the pilgrimage. To speak the truth, after having gone
through this prayer, I cannot find any more to say.
Our Lord seems to have wished to teach us what great
consolation it contains. It is most useful for those
who cannot read : if they understood it, they might
gather from it much spiritual instruction and solace.
If other books are taken from us, no one can deprive
Way of Perf. ch. xix. 4.

CHAP. XLII.] CONCLUSION. 293

US of this, which came from the lips of the very Truth,
Who cannot err. And since, as I said, we recite the
Pater Noster very often during the day, let us take
delight in it, and let us strive to learn humility from the
way in which our good Master prays, besides all the
other things I have explained to you.

8. Beg of Him to pardon me for having dared to
speak about such high matters. His Majesty knows well
that I should never have had the courage nor would my
mind have been capable of it, unless He had taught me
what to say. Now, sisters, I think our Lord does not
wish me to continue, though I intended writing more.
Our Lord has taught both you and me the way I have
described in the book which, as I have said, I have
written (the Life). I have told you how to journey to
this fount of living water and what the soul feels when
it is attained : how God satiates the spirit, deprives
it of all thirst for earthly things, and strengthens
it in His service. That book will be a great help to
those who feel called to such a state and will give them
much light. Ask for it, for the Father-Master, Father
Dominic Banes, who is my confessor, has it ; I shall
also give him this before showing it to you ; should
he think that you would be benefited by having it,
and also give you the former, I should feel happy
at having given you any comfort. If this work is
unworthy of being read, you must take the will for

294 the way of perfection. [chap. xlii.

the deed, as I have done my best to obey your request.
I think that I have been well repaid for the pains it
has cost me, as I have not had to study what to
write, because our Lord has taught me the secrets of
this evangelical prayer, which have greatly consoled me.

Blessed and praised be God, from Whom comes all
the good that we either speak, or think, or do. Amen.

JESUS.

INDEX.

Adam, iii. 4
Address, xxii. i
Agnes, of Jesus, ii. 8
Ambrose, St., i. 5
Amen, xlii. i

Ancestors, example of, ii. 6 ; xi. 3
Angela of Foligno, Blessed,
xxxvii. I

Anxiety about worldly matters,
ii. 2, 3

Ask and ye shall receive, xxiii. 4
Augustine, St., vii. 2 ; xxviii. 2
Austerities, i. i

Ave Maria, xvii. 3 ; xxi. i ; xxii.
I ; xxiv. 1 ; xlii. 6

Bafiez, Dominic, Introd., xlii. 8
Bartholomew, .St., xxvii. 4
Blame, unjust, xv. p.t.

Bodily sustenance, xxxiv. 3
Body, effects of the Blessed
Sacrament on, xxxiv. 7
Books, helpful, xvii. 2 ; xxi. 2 sqq.
xxvi. 9

Bread, daily, chaps, xxxiii. and
xxxiv

Cassian, xix. 3

Catherine of the Angels, xi. i
Catherine of Christ, xiv. 4
Cepeda, Don Lorenzo de, iii. i ;
xxxviii. 10

Charity, mutual, iv. 3, 7
Chess, xvi. i

Church, attacks on, i. 5 (see also

Lutherans) : defenders of, i, 2 ;
iii. 1-3 ; guidance of, xl. 3
Clare, St., ii. 6

Communion, frequent, xxi. 5 ;

spiritual, xxxv. i
Community life, conducive to
detachment, ix. i
Complaints, foolish, x. 6
Confessors and directors, attitude
towards, iv. and v. p.t. ; power
of, V. 4 ; ignorant, v. i, 2
Confidence, false, xxxix. 5
Conscience, a good, essential to
perfection, v. 2 ; examination
of, xxvi. I

Constitutions, iv. i, 3
Consult learned persons, iv. ii
Contemplation, xvi. 3 ; xxv. 2 ;
xxxii. 8

Contemplatives, iv. 2 ; xvi. 2 ;

xxxvi. 8 ; xxxviii. i
Convents, sumptuous, ii. 6, 7
Conversations, with worldly per-
sons, vii. 7 ; xli. 5 ; with spirit-
ual persons, vii. 3
Cordiality, xli. 8

Cross, a heavy, for contempla-
tives, xvii. 6 ; xviii. p.t.
Crosses, how to pray for, xxxii. 3

Damiana of Jesus, xxxvi. 2, 8
Dangers of contemplatives, xviii.
7 ; xxi. 4

Day of our life, xxxiv. 2
Death, desire of , xix. 10 sqq. ; of
sinners, xl. 8

295

296

INDEX

Desire of heaven, a good sign,
xlii. 4

Detachment, iv. 3 ; viii. p.t. ;

from self, x. p.t. ; xii. i
Devils, compelled to serve God,
xli. 3

“ Die or suffer,” xii. 2 ; xiii. i
Directors, freedom in consulting
several, iv. 3 ; v. i, 2 ; to con-
sult, xxxix. 6
Ditch, a, xxxviii. 4, 5
Dominicans, v. i

Enclosure, v. 4
Evangelical counsels, i. 2
Excuses, when to offer and when
not, XV. I ; vain, xvi. 8

Faithfulness of God, xxxvii. 3 ;
xl. 3

Fallacy of human affections, xli. i
Father, the heavenl):^, xxiv. 2 ;
xxvii. p.t.

Favouritism, xxix. i
Fears, false, xl. 4, 5 ; of the world
for safety of contemplatives,
xxi. I

Fire of the love of God, xix. 6
Forgiveness, need of, xxxvii. 2 ;

of trespasses, xxxvi. p.t.
France, miseries of, i. 2
Frances of Jesus, vii. 6 ; xviii. 6
Francis, St., xix. 6
Friendships, discreet, vii. 6 ; in-
discreet, xii. 8, 9 ; particular,
evils of, iv. 4 sqq. ; vii. 7 ;
particular, in superiors, iv. 6 ;
worldly, xx. 3

Garcia de Toledo, vii. 8
Giving and taking back, xxiii. i ;
xxxii. 7

God, His greatness to be remem-
bered in prayer, xxii. 5 ; how
He attracts souls, xvi. 6
Gonzalez, Giles, v. i
Gratian, Jerome, xiv. i ; xxxii.

7 ; xli. 8

Great aspirations, xlii. 5

Guidance, petition for, xxii. 4 ;

of the Church, xl. 3
Guiomar of the Blessed Sacra-
ment, xxxiv. 4

Health, anxiety for, x. 4, 5 ; xi.