Chapter 7

CHAPTER Vm*

✦

After long lanquishing, at length I regained my
former health; about which time my dear mother
departed this life in great tranquility of mind; having,
beside her other good qualities, been particularly char¬
itable to the poor. This virtue, so acceptable to God,
he was graciously pleased to commence rewarding
even in this life, with such a spirit of resignation, that
though she was but twenty-four hours sick, she was
made perfectly easy about everything that was near
and dear to her in this world. — I now applied myself
to my duties, never fading to practice that of prayer
twice a day. I watched over myself, to subdue my
spirit continually. I went to visit the poor in their
houses, assisting them in their distempers and dis¬
tresses; and did (according to my understanding) all
the good I knew. Thou, O my God, increased both
my love and my patience, in proportion to my suffer¬
ings. I regretted not the temporal advantages with
which my mother distinguished my brother above me;
yet at home they fell on me about that, as about every¬
thing else. I also had for some time a severe ague,
and was very feeble. I did not indeed serve thee yet
with that fervor which thou wast pleased to give me
soon after. For I would still have been glad to recon¬
cile thy love with the love of myself and of the crea¬
ture; and unhappily I always found some who loved
me, and whom I could not forbear wishing to please;

THE LIFE OF MADAME GUYON.

not that I loved them, but for the love that I bore to
myself.

A lady, who was an exile, came to my father’s
house. He offered her an apartment in it which she
accepted, and staid there a long time. She was one ot
true piety and inward devotion. She had a great
esteem for me, because I desired to love God, and
employed myself in the exterior works of charity. She
remarked that I had the virtues of an active and bust¬
ling life; but had not yet attained the simplicity of
prayer which she experienced, Sometimes she dropped
a word to me on that subject; but as my time had not
yet come, I did not understand her. Her example
instructed me more than her words. I observed on
her countenance something which marked a great
enjoyment of the presence of God. This I tried, by
the exertion of studied reflection and thoughts, to
attain, but with much trouble and to little purpose. I
wanted to have by my own efforts what I could not
acquire but in ceasing from all efforts.

My father’s nephew, of whom I have made mention
before, was returned from Cochin China, to carry over
some priests from Europe. I was exceedingly glad tc
see him, well remembering what good his first passing
by had done me. The lady above mentioned was nc
less rejoiced than I; they understood each other imme¬
diately and conversed together in a spiritual language.
The virtue of this excellent relation charmed me; and
I admired his continual prayer without being able to
comprehend it. I endeavored to meditate, and to
think on God without intermission, to utter prayers
and ejaculations, but could not acquire, by all my toil,
what God at length gave me himself, and which is

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experienced only in simplicity. My cousin did all he
could to attach me more strongly to God. He con¬
ceived an exceedingly great affection for me. The
purity he observed in me from the corruptions of the
age, the abhorrence of sin at a time of life when others
are beginning to relish the pleasures of it, (for I was
not yet eighteen), gave him a great tenderness for me.
I complained to him of my faults ingenuously; for
these I saw clearly; but as the difficulties I found, of
entirely reforming myself, much abated my courage,
he cheered and exhorted me to support myself, and to
persevere in my good endeavors for it. He would fain
have introduced me into a more simple manner of
prayer, but I was not yet prepared for it.

I believe his prayers were more effectual than his
words; for no sooner was he gone out of my father’s
house, than thou, O my Divine Love, manifested thy
favor to me. The desire I had to please thee, the
tears I shed, the manifold pains I underwent, the
labors I sustained, and the little fruit I reaped from
them, moved thee with compassion. Such was the
state of my soul, when thy goodness, surpassing all
my vileness and infidelities, and abounding in propor¬
tion to my wretchedness, now granted me in a moment,
what all my own efforts could never procure. For,
beholding me rowing with such laborious toil, the
breath of thy divine operations turned in my favor,
and carried me full sail over this sea of affliction.

I had often spoken to my confessor about the great
anxiety it gave me to find I could not meditate, nor
exert my imagination in order to pray. Subjects of
prayer which were too extensive were useless to me;
such as were short and pithy suited me better; but my

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confessor, I found, did not comprehend the matter, or
understand my meaning.

At length, God permitted a very religious person, of
the order of St. Francis, to pass by my father’s habita¬
tion. He had intended going another way, that was
shorter and more commodious: but a secret power
changed his design. He saw there was something for
him to do, and imagined that God had called him for
the conversion of a man of some distinction in that
country; but his labors there proved fruitless. It was
the conquest of my soul which was designed. As soon
as he arrived in our country, he came to see my father,
who was rejoiced at his coming. At this time I was
about to be delivered of my second son, and my father
was dangerously ill, and was expected to die. For
some time they concealed his sickness from me, on
account of my condition; till an indiscreet person
abruptly told me. Instantly I arose, all weak as I was,
and went to see him at the hazard of my life; and a
dangerous illness it cost me. My father was recovered,
but not entirely; yet enough to give me new marks of
his affection. I told him of the strong desire I had to
love God, and my great sorrow at not being able to do
it fully. As he had a great fondness for me, he thought
he could not give me a more solid indication thereof,
than in procuring me an acquaintance with this worthy
man. He told me what he knew of him, and urged me
to go and see him.

I made at first a difficulty of doing it, being intent
on observing the rules of the strictest prudence. How¬
ever, my father’s repeated requests had with me the
weight of a positive command. I thought I could not
do that amiss, which I only did in obedience to him.

THE LIFE OF MADAME GUTON.

I therefore took a kinswoman along with me, and went.
At first he seemed a little confused; for he was reserved
towards women. Being newly come out of a five years’
solitude, he was surprised that I was the first to address
him. He spoke not a word for some time. I knew
not what to attribute his silence to. I did not hesitate
to speak to him, and to tell him in a few words, my
difficulties about prayer. He presently replied, “ It is,
madame, because you seek without what you have
within. Accustom yourself to seek God in your heart, j
and you will there find him.”

Having said these words, he left me. They were to
me like the stroke of a dart, which penetrated through
my heart. I felt at this instant a very deep wound, a
wound so delightful that I desired not to be cured.
These words brought into my heart what I had been
seeking so many years; or rather they discovered to me
what was there, and which I had not enjoyed for want
of knowing it. O my Lord, thou wast in my heart, and
demanded only a simple turning of my mind inward,
to make me perceive thy presence. Oh, Infinite Good¬
ness ! how was I running hither and thither to seek
thee, my life was a burden to me, although my happi¬
ness was within myself. I was poor in the midst of
riches, and ready to perish with hunger, near a table
plentifully spread, and a continual feast. O Beauty,
ancient and new; why have I known thee so late?
Alas! I sought thee where thou wast not, and did
not seek thee where thou wast. It was for want of
understanding these words of thy Gospel, “The king¬
dom of God cometh not with observation: neither shall
they say, Lo here, or lo there: For behold, the king¬
dom of God is within you.” This I now experienced.

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for thou becamest my King, and my heart thy kingdom*
wherein thou didst reign supreme, and performed all
thy sacred will.

I told this good man, “that I did not know what
he had done to me, that my heart was quite changed,
that God was there; for from that moment he had
given me an experience of his presence in my soul; not
by thought or any application of mind, but as a thing
really possessed after the sweetest manner.” I experi¬
enced these words in the Canticles: “Thy name is as
precious ointment poured forth; therefore do the vir¬
gins love thee.” For I felt in my soul an unction
which, as a salutary balsam, healed in a moment all
my wounds. I slept not that whole night, because thy
love, O my God, flowed in me like a delicious oil, and
burned as a fire which was going to devour in an
instant all that was left of self. I was suddenly so
altered that I was hardly to be known either by myself
or others. I found no longer those troublesome faults
or reluctances. They all disappeared, being consumed
like chaff in a great fire.

I now became desirous that the instrument hereof
might become my director, preferable to any other.
This good father, however, could not readily resolve to
charge himself with my conduct, though he saw so sur¬
prising a change effected by the hand of God. Several
reasons induced him to excuse himself; first my per¬
son, then my youth, for I was only nineteen years of
age; and lastly, a promise he had made to God, from
a distrust of himself, never to take upon himself the
direction of any of our sex, unless God, by some par¬
ticular providence, should charge him therewith.
However, upon my earnest and repeated request to

THE LIFE OF MADAMF. GUYON.

him to become my director, be said be would pray to
God thereupon, and desired that I should do so, too*
As he was at prayer, it was said to him, “Fear not
that charge; she is my spouse.” When I heard this, it
affected me greatly. “What (said I to myself) a
frightful monster of iniquity, who has done so much to
offend my God, in abusing his favors, and requiting
them with ingratitude; and now to be declared his
spouse ! ” After this he consented to my request.

Nothing now was more easy to me than prayer.
Hours passed away like moments, while I could hardly
do anything else but pray. The fervency of my love
allowed me no intermission. It was a prayer of rejoic¬
ing and possessing, devoid of all busy imaginations
and forced reflections; it was a prayer of the will, and
not of the head, wherein the taste of God was so great,
so pure, unblended and uninterrupted, that it drew
and absorbed the power of my soul into a profound
recollection without act or discourse. For I had now
no sight but of Jesus Christ alone. All else was
excluded, in order to love with the greater extent, with¬
out any selfish motives or reasons for loving.

This sovereign power, the will, absorbed the two
others, the memory and understanding into itself, and
concentrated them in love; — not but that they still
subsisted, but their operations were in a manner imper¬
ceptible and passive; for they were no longer stopped
or retarded by the multiplicity, but collected and united
in one. So the rising of the sun does not extinguish
the stars, but overpowers and absorbs them in the
lustre of his incomparable glory.

THE LIFE OF MADAME GUYON.