CHAPTER ITT.

My father, who loved me tenderly, seeing how little
my education was attended to, sent me to a convent
of the Ursulines. I was then near seven years old. In
this house were two hah sisters of mine, the one by
my father, the other by my mother. My father placed
me under his daughter's care, whom I may affirm to
be a person of the greatest capacity and most exalted
piety, and excellently qualified for the instruction of
youth. This was a singular dispensation of God’s
providence and love towards me, and proved the first
means of my salvation. She loved me tenderly, and
her affection made her discover in me many amiable
qualities, which the Lord of great goodness had
implanted in me. She endeavored to improve these
good qualities, and I believe that had I continued in
such careful hands, I should have acquired as many
virtuous habits as I afterwards contracted evil ones.

This good sister employed her time in instructing
me in piety, and in such branches of learning as were
suitable to my age and capacity. She had good
talents, and improved them well; was frequent in
prayer, and her faith was as great as that of most
persons. She denied herself every other pleasure, to
be with me and to instruct me. Nay, such was her
affection for me, that it made her find, as she told me,
more pleasure with me than anywhere else.

If I made her agreeable answers, though more

14

THE LIFE OF MADAME GUYON.

from chance than from judgment, she thought herself
well paid for all her labor. In short, under her care I
soon became mistress of most studies suitable for me,
insomuch that many grown persons of rank could not
have answered the questions which I did.

As my father often sent for me, desiring to see me
at home, I found at one time the Queen of England
there. I was then near eight years of age. My father
told the Queen’s confessor, that if he wanted a little
amusement, he might entertain himself with me, and
propound some questions to me. He tried me with
several very difficult ones, to which I returned such
pertinent answers, that he carried me to the Queen,
and said to her, “Your majesty must have some diver¬
sion with this child.” She also tried me; and was so
well pleased with my lively answers, and my manners,
that she demanded me of my father with no small
importunity, assuring him that she would take particu¬
lar care of me, designing me for maid of honor to the
princess. But my father resisted so far as to disoblige
her. Doubtless it was God who caused this refusal,
and thereby turned off the stroke which might have
probably intercepted my salvation; for being so weak
as I was, how could I have withstood the temptations
and distractions of a Court?

I went back to the Ursulines, where my good sister
continued her affection. But as she was not the mis¬
tress of the boarders, and I was obliged sometimes to
go along with them, I contracted bad habita I be¬
came addicted to lying, peevishness and indevotion,
passing whole days without thinking on God; though
he watched continually over me, as the sequel will
manifest. I did not remain long under the power of

THE LIFE OF MADAME GTJYON.

15

such vicious habits; for my sister’s care recovered me.
I loved much to hear of God, was not weary of Church,
loved to pray, had tenderness for the poor, and a
natural dislike for persons whose doctrine was judged
unsound. God has always continued to me this grace,
in the midst of my greatest infidelities.

There was at the end of the garden connected
with this convent, a little chapel dedicated to the child
Jesus. To this I betook myself for devotion; and, for
some time, carrying my breakfast thither every morn¬
ing, I hid it all behind his image; for I was so much a
child, that I thought I made a considerable sacrifice in
depriving myself of it. Being also delicate in my
choice of food, I wished to mortify myself; but found
self-love still too prevalent, to submit to such mortifica¬
tion. After this, when they were cleaning out this
chapel, they found behind the image what I had left
there, and presently guessed that it was I, as they had
seen me every day going thither. I believe that God,
who lets nothing pass without a recompense, soon
rewarded me with interest for this little infantine
devotion.

I continued some time with my sister, where I
retained the love and fear of God. My life was easy;
I was educated agreeably with her. I improved much
while I had my health; but very often I was sick, and
seized with maladies as sudden as they were uncom¬
mon. In the evening well, and in the morning swelled
and full of bluish marks, symptoms of a fever which
soon followed. At nine years of age, I was taken with
so violent a fit of hemorrhage, that they thought I was
going to die. I was rendered exceedingly weak
thereby.

16

THE LIFE OF MADAME GUYON.

A little before this severe attack, my other sister
became jealous, wanting to have me in her turn.
Though she led a good life, yet she had not a talent
for the education of children. At first she caressed me
much; but all her caresses made no impression upon
my heart. My other sister did more with a look, than
she with either caresses or threatenings. As she saw
that I loved her not so well as the other, she changed
her fondling to rigorous treatment. She would not
allow me to speak to my other sister; and when she
knew I had spoken to her, she had me whipped, or else
beat me herself. I could no longer hold out against
such severe usage, and therefore requited with appa¬
rent ingratitude all the favors of my paternal sister,
going no more to see her. But this did not hinder her
from giving me marks of her usual goodness, in the
severe malady just mentioned. She kindly construed
my ingratitude to be rather owing to my fear of chas¬
tisement, that to a bad heart. Indeed, I believe this
was the only instance in which fear of chastisement
operated so powerfully upon me, for, from that time I
suffered more in occasioning pain to one I loved, than
in suffering myself at their hand. Thou knowest,
O my Beloved, that it was not the dread of thy chas¬
tisements that sunk so deep, either into my under¬
standing or my heart; it was the sorrow for offending
thee whichever constituted the whole of my distress;
which was so great, that I imagine if there were neither
heaven nor hell, I should always have retained the
same fear of displeasing thee. Thou knowest that after
my faults, when, in forgiving mercy, thou wert pleased
to visit my soul, thy caresses were a thousand-fold
more insupportable than thy rod.

THE LIFE OF MADAME GUYON.

17

My father being informed of all that passed, took
me home again. I wa3 at that time near ten years of
age. I stayed only a little while at home; for a mm of
the order of St. Dominie, of a great family, and one of
my father’s intimate friends, solicited him to place me
in her convent, of which she was the prioress, promis¬
ing she would take care of me herself, and make me
lodge in her own chamber; for this lady had conceived
a great affection for me. But she was so taken up
with her community, in which many troublesome
events occurred, that she was not at liberty to take
much care of me. Here I had the chicken-pox, which
made me keep my bed three weeks, in which I had
very bad attendance, though my father and mother
thought I was under excellent care. The ladies of the
house had such a dread of the small-pox, as they imag¬
ined mine to be, that they durst not come near me.
I passed almost all the time without seeing anybody,
but a lay-sister, who only brought me my allowance of
diet at the set hours, and then immediately went off
again. I providentially found a Bible in my chamber,
and having both a fondness for reading and a happy
memory, I spent whole days in reading it from morning
to night, and learned entirely the historical part. Yet,
I was really very unhappy in this house; for the other
boarders, being large girls, distressed me with very
grievous persecutions. I was so much neglected, as to
food, that I fell away, and became quite emaciated.
Several other crosses I had, which were very hard for
me to bear.

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THE LIFE OF MADAME GUYON.